officialheinzdoofenshmirtz:

darkwingsnark:

officialheinzdoofenshmirtz:

you have 10 seconds to think of a way to make the average vampire movie fresh and new and exciting again

A vampire going through the daily struggles of trying to hide his ever lasting boner— as rigor mortis is an unkind friend. 

JE SUS

fulllblownrose:

It’s too hot *opens window* in comes 20 flies, 8 spiders, 17 daddy long legs, 50 moths, 3 dragons and 12 Jehovah’s witnesses.

myersbriggspersonalitytypes:

Positive Traits:

  • Fun loving & lotsof fun to be around
  • Free-spirited
  • Deeply caring and concerned for others
  • Very perceptive and insightful about people’s thoughts and motives – gifted at understanding others
  • Friendly and open – people are drawn to…

drunkdilf:

bread is so fucking good man I could prob eat an entire bakery in 25 minutes or less 

(Source: cyberho)

Me: *out for dinner with my dad because we were too lazy to cook*
Random Old Lady: *comes up out of no where with the most judgmental look ever* (will also be refereed to as 'ROL')
ROL: Isn't he a little old for you?
Me: Well, considering he's my Dad, I'd say that your a judgmental hag.
Dad: *chokes into his drink*
ROL: You should respect your elders.
Me: You should respect your youth, we're the ones who'll decide on whether or not to pull your cord in like, what? Five weeks?
Dad: *chokes on his drink again*
ROL: *storms off*
Dad: *looks at me with a disapproving look*
Me: What?
Dad: Come on, you and I both know it will be three weeks.

thew0lfqueen:

Don’t date someone you wouldn’t own a dog with